


Renegade

by TellTale_Heart



Category: Clarke&Lexa, The 100 (TV), clexa - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Nuclear Winter, Post-Apocalypse, Post-Nuclear War, Survival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-16 20:58:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9289343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TellTale_Heart/pseuds/TellTale_Heart
Summary: In the midst of a nuclear winter one is desperately trying to find her way back to her true self, fighting the terrifying aftermath of her past while the other's battling another war entirely, learning to build a steady moral system of her own, being forced to play along with a quickly developing inhumanity spreading across the small group of survivers in a post-nuclear war world of lost hopes.





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

 

Lexa rose from her laying position as a sharp scream penetrated her ears. Her Hardballer gripped tightly with her slim fingers, she shot off in the direction of the sound that startled her out of the dreamless, barely-there sleep. She didn’t have to run for long until she was met with the sight she knew all too well, a helpless girl being held down by one of the Backsliders – as she liked to refer to them. Not like she was religious or anything, but the title seemed to fit them perfectly. They were, in some way, saved and got a second chance at life however horrible the circumstances, and yet they chose to, well...slide back.

„Do you have anything else on you?” he said through gritted teeth. The boy couldn’t have been more than 19 years of age, but the dirt and filth covering his entire body and face was painting a different picture. He had a light brown bag slung over his shoulder, which more than probably used to belong to the girl.

„No! No, I swear you took all I had.” she whimpered under the pressure he was applying to her throat. Lexa rolled her eyes. She didn’t have to interfere, really. Her own survival was more important and she didn’t have to include herself in such atrocities. She indeed had her own troubles to face and she shouldn’t risk her own safety for a stranger. For anyone, actually.

„Stop, before I make you.” rolled off her tongue and she didn’t believe her own body would betray her like that. She had no business protecting anyone other than herself. Yet here she was…

The boy looked up, incredulous at the interruption and with one final shove against the girl’s neck he was gripping, he stood to face Lexa.

„And why would I listen to you?” he spat, taking a step closer to the brunette.

„You do not have to, but I strongly advise you do.” she replied calmly. Gun at the ready shoved in the back of her jeans.

„Pfft” came the curt reply from the back of the boy’s throat as he launched himself at Lexa.

„Wrong answer.” she mumbled, mostly to herself before she ducked, making the boy lose his balance as his hit missed its target and Lexa, with deadly precision twisted his left arm behind his back, kicking his feet out of under him. He fell to the ground with a thud, Lexa still holding onto his arm.

„I don’t know what your business is with this girl but I recommend you return her backpack and leave.” It wasn’t a request. The boy let out a small cry of pain, his arm being twisted all the way up to the back of his neck.

„Like hell I will.” and with that he spat on the brunette’s boots, seemingly making a statement. Lexa clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth before grabbing her pistol and holding it against the boy’s temple. „How about now?” she asked, a bit of amusement in her tone at the sight of his eyes widening. The boy silently let her retrieve the backback and once it was off his shoulders Lexa released his arm.She turned around to inspect any injuries that the unknown girl might have suffered, who was now in a standing position, hugging herself while watching the scene unfold. Lexa stopped a good few steps before her and reached out her arm, backpack in hand for the girl to take. The blonde silently thanked her with a slight nod of her head before her eyes grew wide and a gasp escaped her, like she was trying to say something. It was too late.

With a bang Lexa was sprawled out on the ground, gun slipping through her fingers and landing next to her head. She could faintly hear a smug laugh and warm liquid spilling down her cheek. Someone retrieving her weapon from beside her head in a quick motion… She exhaled slowly and let unconsciousness take her, but not before accepting her impending fate of death by the hands of a street rat. The loud shot seemed to ring in her ears forever before deep black consumed her mind.

                                                                                                                     *

Lexa’s head was pounding as she slowly opened her eyes, surprise taking over her features. She wasn’t dead. Slowly reaching back, her fingers tapped along a line of stitches on the side of her head. Trying to get up proved to be a bad idea as she fell back against the makeshift bed she was placed on.

„Don’t try to move, your head received quite the hit from that bastard.” came a stern but velvety voice from somewhere in the room. Lexa, confused, laid her head back but not before squinting her eyes to focus on the blonde girl.

„How..” she started but was cut off by the other.

„I wanted to thank you. Taking care of your wound is the least I could do…” she abandoned her sentence, seemingly waiting for the space to be filled.

„Lexa.” she breathed while gripping the back of her head. Fuck it hurt.

„ _Lexa_.” the blonde repeated and smiled faintly. „I’m Clarke.” she continued and stepped closer then kneeled down next to the brunette’s head, reaching out to inspect the damage the other girl was bearing. Lexa, however, moved right out of reach and putting all her strength into her next movement she sat up. Her hand still hanging in the air, clearly frozen in motion, Clarke sighed but an amused smile was playing on her lips.

„Where am I?” Lexa asked, her thoughts more coherent now. „I need to get back to my shelter.” she stated and looked around for her gun. „Where’s my gun?”

„Wow, stop with the impromptu quizzing.” Clarke rolled her eyes as she retrieved Lexa’s gun from the top of a single desk that was in the room apart from the makeshift bed Lexa occupied. „You’re at our medical centre. Well, more like a random warehouse,” she snorted „but we like to be fancy with the naming.”

„Medical Centre? What are you talking about?” Lexa was entirely too confused for her liking.

„I brought you back here because you needed medical care, Lexa. I wasn’t going to just leave you there, after saving me and my two days’ worth of food and water.” she winked as Lexa just gaped at her.

„I’m sorry, but what is this?” she asked, perplexed at the thought of a medical centre after the breakout of a nuclear war that demolished nearly everything and everyone. There was no system anymore, no rules to follow. No stores, no laws, no money, no hospitals. She was surely hallucinating. She spent a full six months alone, apart from randomly running into the Backsliders that enjoyed the ’No rules’ law and went on with their pathetic lives stealing from other survivors, making the count that much less. And now here was this girl, telling her she’s at a medical centre.

Clarke laughed at the other’s confused face. Lexa furrowed her brows.

„There are many of us here. We found each other not too long after the…bombings. We made a home, if you will. Shelter. We have food and clean water. For now, at least. We usually don’t go outside the barrier we built but I was in desperate need of some… _essentials_.”

Lexa was at a loss for words.

„How far is this from where I found you?” she eventually asked and Clarke beamed at her.

„Not too far. A few blocks, actually. I’m surprised you never stumbled upon us before.”

It was not a surprise to Lexa, though. She intentionally never wandered too far. She had her own shelter she created and she only went out to get clear water from the nearby river. Well, it wasn’t clean _per se_ , she knew it was slowly destroying her body from the inside, but she knew her fate. Her instinct was to survive as long as she could, but she knew it was impossible with the destruction the nuclear war caused. She had a good amount of food stacked up in the basement-like shelter she found after all hell broke loose. She didn’t come to the surface for three months. It was hell, she started hearing voices after six weeks of being in complete solitary, but eventually talking to herself solved that problem. Maybe she was a little off her rockets but she was safe.

„Mhm” she grunted before she stood abruptly. Clarke was on her feet in a third of a second and shook her head.

„No, you have to rest. Lay back down.” her voice was pleading but Lexa wasn’t having it.

„Thank you for taking care of the wound. I appreciate your help.” the brunette said, ever the stoic, before taking off in the direction of what seemed to be the exit, weapon in hand. Small fingers wrapped around her upper arm as she was tugged back slightly, successfully halting her movements.

„Please… I owe you this much. I swear I’ll let you leave tomorrow, once I can be sure you don’t have a concussion and can protect yourself on your way back.”

Clarke said, pleading evident in her voice once again. „Look…Clarke.” the name rolled off Lexa’s tongue and she immediately had the blonde’s undivided attention. „I really do…appreciate your help, whatever happened back there, but I am not staying here. Let go of me.” she wriggled her arm out of Clarke’s grasp, in line with her words. Her very cold, chilling to the bones, words. Clarke just stood there, dumbfounded.

This girl was something else. Stupid. Very stupid, indeed. She would go out alone in her state, unprotected. The blonde's blood froze even at the single thought of that.

Lexa took a step in the direction of the exit again, but before she could slip out and disappear into the freezing cold of the nuclear winter, the door flew open revealing another girl, smirk intact.

„I see your sleeping beauty is fully functioning again, Clarke.” the girl teased as she looked over Lexa, weapon in hand, ready to go.

„Raven, I thought you had guarding duty tonight.” Clarke slowly exhaled, pinching the bridge of her nose.

„Oh, I wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to meet your heroine, Clarke.” she winked and held her hand out for Lexa to shake. The brunette stared at it for a second before completely ignoring it and strutting towards the exit.

„She’s feisty, this one!” Raven quipped and patted Clarke’s back approvingly. „Good catch!”

Lexa could barely register the brunette’s words but then it all became painfully clear what Raven was implying with them. Two armed guards were standing at the exit, blocking her way. She tried moving past them but the moment she did so both of their hands came in contact with her shoulders, each side.

Lexa shook her head confused. „What is happening?” she turned her gaze back to Clarke, who had an apologetic expression on her face. Lexa pushed back into the room and grabbed the blonde by her collar, throwing her hard against the wall. „What the fuck is _happening_ , Clarke?!” she seethed, inches away from the blonde’s face but she was soon pulled off the girl by Raven, who had the audacity to snicker at her antics. Clarke just winced at the situation and positioned herself a little farther away from Lexa.

„I’m sorry…but we cannot let you leave. Not just yet.” Clarke’s voice was small.

„What do you mean you _can’t_ , Clarke?” Lexa’s words, though strained, had an edge to them and Clarke gulped at the uncomfortable feeling in her gut upon hearing them. She really didn’t want to do this. Not to Lexa. The girl did save her, for Christ’s sake!

„She means you’ll have to stay and be our little helper, GI Jane.” Raven smirked annoyingly at Lexa and the brunette grumbled her reply of profanities under her breath, especially at the newly given nickname.

This was not happening.

Lexa was lightning on her feet as she steadied her gun pointing straight at Clark, holding up a single finger with her free hand to halt Raven, who most certainly was about to disarm her.

“Now,” she spoke, her voice low and dangerous. “I will make one thing perfectly clear for the both of you. I _am_ leaving here in the next two minutes and you will not attempt to stop me.”

“Oh come on, Jane, chill-” Raven tried and proceeded to take a step towards Lexa who immediately directed her weapon at the Latina’s head.

“You are getting me out of here, or I swear to God I’ll blow your brains out.” She seethed and there was a small, aggravated silence hugging around the two girls at Lexa’s dead cold statement. It was not a joke and they knew it.

“Lexa..” Clarke tried, but the brunette girl shook her head, not even chancing a look at her. Lexa was angry. At herself, mostly. She should not have helped, should not have interfered at all. She should have left Clarke there, to fight her own battle. It slipped her attention, Raven fiddling in her back pocket that is, while her thoughts were pre-occupied.

“You.” Raven was addressed with a slight, curt wave of Lexa’s gun towards the exit. “Walk me out.”

Raven sighed.

“I…we can’t do that.”

And as if on cue, the door was kicked in and at least a dozen armed of their people filled the room, closing Lexa in the middle of a human circle, all weapons aimed at her. Lexa knew she was trapped and there was no way she could shoot quick or precise enough to make an escape. Dejectedly, she lowered her gun to her side before dropping it completely. Her eyes searched the room for the blonde head and when she finally met with the blue gaze she was looking for, she made a point to deliver a message. Clarke gulped. The clear sign of betrayal etched into Lexa’s features as well as her eyes screaming at her... were too much.

“Raven!” she yelped accusingly and tried pushing through the wall of soldier-like figures Raven called upon with a simple press of a button, trapping Lexa. Clarke was gently stopped by her friend.

“Clarke…I’m sorry, this was not part of the plan, I didn’t want to do it this way, but…she’s a stubborn one. And we need her.” Raven gave Clarke a sad smile before nodding at the men, signalling to take Lexa into custody.

                                                                                                                   *

The clan – Lexa came to know that’s what they referred to themselves as after listening to pieces of conversations while being held captive in an empty room for hours - gathered around in a seemingly endless hangar. Placed in the middle was Lexa, tied a to chair for everyone to gawk at. It was like a court room, she thought, when 5 members of the clan began filing in, people opening up like the Red Sea to make them way. Lexa scoffed to herself as she watched their serious expressions, as if any of this shitshow they were putting on mattered any more. As if anything in this doomed world mattered one bit.

A pointed gaze reached her and she closed her eyes for a second, blaming it on the bright light that was shoved in her face.

„Lexa Woods.” The older woman spoke up, whose physical features unmistakably resembled Clarke’s. The prisoner gulped. How did they know her full name? The woman stepped closer and removed the gag from her mouth.

„I am sorry, this is not exactly how we planned to make an alliance with you.” She offered an apologetic half-smile before taking a step back to stare at the brunette. „How did you manage for so long on your own? Ah…why am I even surprised? You served in the army, must have a trick or two up your sleeve in Survival 101, huh?” The woman joked and Lexa felt she might start hyperventilating right there and then. These people…knew way too much about her to feel comfortable in their presence. Not like the whole 'being held against her own will' helped at all with that.

„Who the hell are you?” she managed to croak out, throat and mouth dry from being gagged with a cloth for such a long period of time.

„My name is Abigail Griffin. Abby, for short. And these…” she looked around the small sea of people. „…are my people. Our clan, if you will. We are keen to survive and surviving can be done by great, collective effort. That is what we are trying to achieve here, Lexa. And most importantly, we want peace.” Lexa scoffed again, this time as loud as her vocal chords allowed her.

„Forgive me if I, personally, have a hard time believing that last bit.”

„I understand your concern with…the way we seized you.” at that she bit her lip. „But I do believe that you would be an outstanding asset to our plan in achieving the aforementioned peace.” Lexa smirked at that. She raised her index finger up as much as she could from its tied down position and motioned for Abby to come closer. Clarke unconsciously did the same in her position in the crowd, eager to hear her words. Abby leaned in and listened intently to what the brunette was about to say.

„Fuck you.” Lexa uttered with great contempt evident in her voice, before simply spitting into Abby’s face. Shocked gasps followed and two guards were immediately by her side, gripping her by the shoulder threateningly. Abby wiped at her face with disgust before screeching a simple „Get her back into her cell”. She walked off frantically towards a man who was offering her a clean cloth to get rid of Lexa’s work sprayed across her skin.

The brunette was dragged away and thrown back into the dark room where she was held initially. She sighed and stared up at the ceiling. If only she knew what exactly this was all about. Yet, she couldn’t stand listening to that stranger talk about her like she knew her. It was no use for her to hear more, she was not interested in saving the world anymore. It was not in her _interest_ to fight for peace, she wasn’t even sure she wanted to be alive at this point. She saw no reason for her to fight, let alone alongside these people.

A feeling in her gut was telling her to try and make a run for it but her brain settled for crashing her head against the wall continuously. She decided to do just that until she would become unconscious, or possibly wind up dead - if she manages to get her wound to re-open on the side of her head.

Everything went South and all her strength seemed to fade into an uncomfortable want for just falling asleep and never waking up again.

While keeping a steady rhythm of bumping her head into the rotting wall she closed her eyes and was flown back to two years ago.

An army chopper landing close by. Her, running to jump on it before it takes off a second after her feet leaves the ground while boarding. Gunfire. Screams. The smell of blood travelling through the thick, hot air to attack her senses. She felt sick. A little girl, looking at her with hope in her eyes, reaching out. Her crystal blue orbs big and dreamy. Her tiny hand basically disappearing in Lexa’s tactical gloves as she takes it. The soft skin of her small fingers as she touches Lexa’s war paint on her face in awe. The struggled beginning of a scream that Lexa swore was coming from the girl in her arms but it was really caught in her own throat. Lexa was the one screaming as the lifeless, limp body of the tiny person whose family was just massacred minutes ago by her squad, weighed her down like a ball and chain. A soldier, one she recognised was from her team shouting at her - after lowering his smoking gun - that the order was clear; ’No prisoners”.

Memory after memory and the banging of her head became more forceful with each one.

„Oh my God!” She felt her head connect with something way softer than the wall but she couldn’t open her eyes.

„Oh my God, Lexa, stop!” she could register her body being shaken with tremendous force and her head being held back from connecting with the cement again. She finally blinked her eyes open to come face to face with her fate. Clarke had worry in her eyes as she stared into brown orbs.

„You.” she heaved out and Clarke visibly gulped. The girl’s wound re-opened and her face was covered in her own blood, eyes hazy. Breathing ragged, streams of previous teardrops slicing through crimson to reveal skin. Lexa looked like she was having a panic attack.

„Lexa, breathe. Come on.” The blonde untied her hands and feet. „I’m so, so sorry-„ the sentence was never finished. Clarke found herself tackled to the ground, hard, Lexa straddling her, fingers around the blonde’s neck.

„Le-xa” Clarke struggled, but the brunette squeezed too hard for her to be able to speak. Lexa stared down at her madly, the blonde’s brilliant blue hues filling with tears slowly. Clarke could feel herself starting to slip into unconsciousness but before she lost it completely the pressure was gone and so was Lexa’s body from on top of her. Clarke blinked a few times, heaving, rubbing her throat to get the air going. Lexa retreated into the darker corner of the small room, hugging her legs to herself, sobs ripping through her body. She rocked back and forth and was mumbling something that Clarke couldn’t quite catch from afar. A chance had to be taken and Clarke did not hesitate to cross the room and sit in front of the brunette.

„Lexa, you’re okay. You’re okay, breathe. You’re safe.” she muttered quietly so as not to startle the girl.

„I’m...I’m so sorry. I couldn’t-I…I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t save anyone.” she let out between sobs. Clarke was waiting for her to exhale but it never came.

„Lexa, listen to me. Do you hear me? Listen to my voice and breathe out. Do it with me now.” Clarke finished and exhaled slowly, rather loudly to make sure the brunette could follow. Lexa was shaking her head rapidly, refusing to let the used air out of her lungs, effectively trying to suffocate along with her past. An unexpected _oomph_ rang around the room, signalling the air leaving the brunette’s insides as Clarke was suddenly pressed hard against her, pulling her into a solid embrace, pushing the now toxic wind out of Lexa. In a few seconds Lexa seemed to snap out of it and she thrusted Clarke away from her.

There was silence.

Neither girl spoke as they collected themselves.

„Looks like I will need to stitch you up again.” Clarke noted, trying to sound light-hearted though after what she’s just seen, she was anything but. Her heart was breaking for the girl her people held captive and there was nothing she could do about it.


	2. Chapter 2

_It came down to now or never. Clarke knew it wasn’t in her to kill somebody, but the situation at hand required her to tackle the ever-growing sickness in her gut. She was holding tightly onto the weapon she retrieved from the ground. The girl who mere seconds ago was saving her life was now collapsed at her feet. Lexa was desperately trying to reach her Hardballer with her fingers before passing out, leaving Clarke to either take action or let them both die. The Backslider was standing above the brunette with a triumphant smile until he met Clarke’s gaze. He followed the length of her arm and was now staring straight into the barrel of the gun, smug smile faltering. She knew what she had to do and swallowing thickly, hand trembling, she pulled the trigger._

_*_

_“She needs our help, mother.”_

_“I am_ not _having a debate about this, Clarke. She cannot stay, we don’t know anything about her, might as well be a danger to our society.” Abby pointed out._

 _“She saved my_ life, _mother. Are you hearing yourself?! You go on and on about being a society that relies on peace and kindness towards one another, yet you refuse an injured to stay in our care for as long as she recovers and is safe to return to her own shelter. Talk about hypocrisy.” Clarke scoffed, shooting daggers with her eyes._

_“You’re my daughter, Clarke, and I love you. But I will not allow this. Get her out of here in the morning.”_

_Abby made a point with opening her door for Clarke, signalling that their conversation was over. Before she could close the door, however, Clarke turned on her heels._

_“She was in the military. I found her dog tag in her backpack. You may think she doesn’t need our help but I would advise you rethink your decision. Maybe it’s the other way around and she could be of help to us, mother.”_

_With that Clarke started walking away, letting her words sink in._

_“Get me the dog tag.” Was all Abby said before shutting her door._

_Their database was ran by Raven, who managed to breathe life into a laptop and access military information stored on a hard drive after they found an abandoned office building during one of  their sweeps of their near-by location, looking for food and other essentials  to secure the Clan’s shelter._

_“So, what are we looking for again?” Raven raised a brow at the two Griffins standing at a considerable distance from each other, both giving her an expectant look._

_The dog tag was handed to her by Abby._

_“The name’s been scratched off, but there is a service number. I want you to search it and link it to its owner.”_

_“Consider it done.” Raven smirked as she punched the code into the database. Sure enough, within seconds the screen started revealing the brunette’s profile, her photo slowly loading with her data._

_“Lexa Woods” Abby read out loud._

_“Born 1992, joined the US Marine Corps at the age of 20 in 2012. Served in Pakistan, parts of West Sudan, Afghanistan and was a key part of Iraq’s renewed_ ‘Operation New Dawn’ _within the course of two and a half  years. Wow..” Raven finished, looking up from the screen. “The girl was busy, huh? It’s a miracle she was still alive for the apocalypse after all…” she waved at the computer screen “…that.”_

_“Huh..” escaped Abby’s throat as she stepped closer  to examine the information on the stranger. “She might actually be useful. Look, she was Commandant of the Corps. How is that even possible at that age?”_

_Rave furrowed her eyebrows in confusion._

_“She was discharged in 2015, a little before the bombings began. You simply cannot get to that rank in such a small period of time. Something’s off here.”_

_“Well, she’s either a superhero or was pushed forward hard enough by somebody from within the forces.” Abby concluded and Clarke rolled her eyes._

_“Says here she has eidetic memory and she’s a quadruple black belt.” Raven snorted, incredulously._

_“Eidetic?” Clarke spoke up._

_“Photographic.” Abby replied before printing out Lexa’s profile. “Let me properly study this first and I will get back to you with a decision by the end of the day whether your soldier is of any use to us, Clarke._

_*_

_A decision was made soon after. An important information surfaced besides Lexa coming in handy with her past experiences in the army. She had a sister. And said sister, namely Luna Woods, happened to be the Head of the Backsliders who’ve been trying to break through the Clan’s barriers since the moment they caught wind of their well-built shelter and food supplies._

_“Bring her to me, we will hold a meeting.”_

_“But mom, she’s not well. Can’t we just let her heal a little more and then expose her to all of this?”  Clarke pleaded._

_“Clarke, do you want you and your people to be safe from the Backsliders once and for all, or would you like to keep on living in fear that one day all of us will be slaughtered for what we have, what all of us have fought for and built together?” Abby prodded and when her daughter cast her eyes to the floor she nodded. “Exactly. She’s our best shot at eliminating the threat that group of outlaws pose.”_

_“What if she doesn’t want to interfere and possibly get herself killed for a bunch of strangers?” Clarke questioned and honestly, it was a fair debate._

_“She will have no other choice, I’m afraid.”_

_“_ What?!” _the blonde jumped to her feet, seething._

_“Get her to the Mess Hall, Clarke. Don’t make me send our guards to do it for you.”_

_To say that her mother’s antics did not sit well with Clarke was an understatement. Ever since Abby stepped up to be the leader of their Clan, she’s changed. Clarke wished it was for the better but it was the exact opposite. But her mommy issues were not what made Clarke feel like an outsider. It was something else, deep within her, a feeling she couldn’t put her finger on. Like she didn’t belong here, with these people. Something seemed to be missing and she didn’t feel home, not even with her own mother. Something was, indeed, missing._

Clarke’s fingers were delicately working against Lexa’s skin. The brunette let out small whimpers of pain, with no anaesthetic that was not a surprise, and if Clarke was perplexed at all it would be about how little Lexa showed reaction to the immense pain that must've been be going through her body with the needle and thread penetrating her wound.

“Why?”

Clarke stiffened at Lexa’s simple, pained question. She slightly shook her head. This was all her fault. She should not have proposed the idea of Lexa being a useful asset in their plan of bringing the Backsliders to their knees. But she didn’t have it in her to just let the injured girl wander off on her own and possibly get killed in the process. She only tried to look after Lexa yet she knew her reasoning would fall on deaf ears had she tried to explain it to the brunette, in light of the circumstances she ended up in because of it.

“I’m sorry, Lexa. I never intended for this to happen and for you to be kept here against your will.”

“You keep saying that, Clarke, but I never seem to get an explanation as to why. _Why_ are you keeping me here?” Lexa asked, her voice even, but desperation filtered her words nonetheless.

“We need you.”

“You said that already.”

Clarke sighed. She was not in the position to fill her in on the plan her mother was brewing.  And truly, she honestly did not want to break it to Lexa that they are about to bribe her with her family.

“It’s not my place to tell. My mother will shed light on the details but I need you to cooperate, Lexa. I don’t want you to get hurt.” Clarke whispered the last part, honesty twinkling in her eyes. Lexa didn’t look at her to see it, though. She scoffed instead.

“Little too late for that, isn’t it?”

Clarke stopped her ministrations on Lexa’s wound and dropped her gaze to the ground, kneeling speechlessly next to her prisoner for a while.

“I never asked for this. I just want peace.” She then spoke, barely above a whisper and Lexa looked at Clarke for the first time since what seemed like forever.  This was all so familiar. Something flattered within her chest. Sympathy. Familiarity. 

“Same as me.” Lexa replied with a sigh as their eyes connected.

The moment didn’t last long. It was all gone with the harsh sound the metal door had made after being pushed open by two guards. Abby walked in, Raven in tow.

“Is she ready to talk?” Abby pointed her question, giving Clarke a glance.

“ ‘ _She’,_ is right here” Lexa answered bitterly. She gave Clarke one last look, searching blue hues for that familiar feeling one last time before giving up and turning her head to their leader. “I am.  I would be more than pleased to hear your justification for keeping me here, tied up.” Lexa gave her a challenging smirk. The least she could do is keep her dignity and act like this situation didn’t faze her as much as she initially let on.

“Right. Let’s get to it, then.” Raven nodded at Abby’s words as she scattered files all over the single desk present in the room.

“I’m sure you are aware that we have a common enemy.” Abby started and Lexa curtly nodded. “The Backsliders  have been wanting to take possession of our shelter since the very beginning. Stealing from our people and killing them whenever they would cross paths with any of our guard teams out looking for supplies and food. They are ruthless and show no mercy.”

“Tell me something I don’t know, _Abigail_.” Lexa was impatient. “Get to the point and tell me where I come into this beautifully painted picture.”

Abby rolled her eyes at the girl’s obvious sarcasm.

“Their leader. Luna.” Abby stretched the name. Something crossed Lexa’s face, similar to shock but the emotion could not be placed by any of the other members in the room. Clarke closed her eyes and let out a silent sigh. “Your sister.” Abby finished.

There was silence for a good few minutes, everyone waiting on Lexa to say something. Anything. Her features did not show any sign of even hearing what has just been implied by Abby.

“You’re wasting your time with me if you think I can get you information on her and how she leads and what her strategy is against you. We haven’t spoken in over 4 years.” Lexa spoke up eventually.

“That won’t be a problem. Though I believe it would have been more beneficial if you were at least in speaking terms, I had assumed there was a reason why you’re not one of them. My plan does not involve having to have a good relationship with each other. However,” and here Abby straightened out a map over the desk. “You, Lexa Woods, are the only one who can get behind enemy’s lines and not get killed on the spot.”

“I don’t  think-“ Clarke tried speaking up but Abby shushed her with a swing of an arm.

“No further discussions about this for now, Clarke. We can get her up to speed on what exactly this mission would require of her later. She knows our reasons and goal, she has to come to terms with how she would like to go about this from now on.” She averted her gaze towards Lexa. “Join us and you get a room, clean clothes, food and shelter for the time being. Support on your mission, of course. Or have us force you... I’d rather not go into detail what _that_ would entail.”

Lexa let out a little laugh. It held no humour.  It was followed by a small ‘tsk’ before she opened her mouth to speak.

“I gotta give it to you, Abigail. You’re one hell of a negotiator.” Lexa was still smirking. Abby knew she was mocking her, but at this point she couldn’t give a damn. This girl was their best chance and she was not going let her go.

“Raven,” Abby motioned towards the Latina to follow her out the door without another word.

Lexa’s face fell immediately. Clarke looked at her, intrigued, before the brunette’s eyes snapped up to meet hers.

“Leave me.” She requested. It was a cold, direct command.

“Lexa, I’m so sorry-“ Clarke began but was cut off by a dismissive motion of a hand.

“Stop apologising, Clarke. You’re not the one forcing me to do any of this..” Lexa wasn’t stupid. She saw how at every turn Clarke was only trying to help her. “..though you _are_ the reason I’m here in the first place.” She said and Clarke visibly gulped down her guilt. She missed the way Lexa’s mouth turned slightly upward in a teasing manner. It was gone the moment it appeared when Clarke’s voice rang cautiously in the room.

“Your sister…what happened between you two? How come you’ve not been talking for so long?” This was borderline too much of a personal question, and Clarke knew that very well, but this was the end of the World. Why not, for once in her life, ask the real questions instead of the safe ones?

Lexa looked at her. Hard. A little surprised at how forward the blonde was being. But then something softened in her eyes and she sighed.

“I thought she was dead.” Her voice was gentle. Filled with so much sorrow Clarke swore she could grasp it and hold the feeling in her hands, her words were laced with it so thickly.

“Your mother broke the news to me just now.” The brunette brushed through her hair with her fingers. “I can’t believe she’s alive..” Lexa breathed.

“Well, you hid it well. Your surprise, I mean.” The blonde pointed out, trying to change the direction Lexa’s feeling were taking.

“Serving in the Army does that to you, I guess.”

*

It’s been a few hours and neither of them spoke. Clarke had stayed. Sitting across the room, sketching something in a notebook. Lexa was counting in her head. She had no way of telling the time so she worked with what she had. At least she could tell how long she’d been in here for.

“Are you going to stay here all day?” Lexa huffed, trying to put on an annoyed façade. Clarke allowed an amused smirk to play on her lips.

“You mean all night?” She retorted. “And let’s be honest, you like me here.” She challenged and Lexa raised a brow.

“Full of ourselves, are we?”

“Just stating the facts, Lexa.”

And Lexa couldn’t argue. She did feel better having the blonde in her presence. They didn’t even have to talk, really. They’ve been silent for hours and it was okay.

“I’ll get us some dinner. “ Clarke abruptly stood but then stopped in her tracks. “Or would you care to join me to our _cafeteria_ ” she rolled her eyes while she said that. “..or whatever fancy name you wanna give a basement with food and tables in it.” She finished and Lexa couldn’t hide it. She was amused by this girl. Very much so. It felt familiar.

“You’re amusing.” So she stated and Clarke smiled. A genuine, blush included, smile.

“So?” She motioned towards the door silently asking again if Lexa wanted to escort her to get dinner.

“You getting and serving me the food sounded much better than me having to walk to get it..” Lexa mused while scraping her chin, thoughtfully. “So no, I won’t join you, Clarke.”

Clarke’s eyes widened at Lexa’s words and the mischievous smirk accompanying them.

“Princess..” Lexa heard Clarke mumble under her breath while she walked out the door.

Lexa also noticed Clarke leaving it slightly open, indicating the fact that in her eyes, the brunette was no longer a prisoner there. Clarke could only hope her trust was well-placed and she wouldn’t have to listen to her mother fume about a lost opportunity after seeing an empty room and an open door where their precious prisoner used to reside.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *awaiting feedback*
> 
> Jokes aside, I hope y'all reading this can get at least a little bit of kick out of it! 
> 
> I know I do ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya, kru! Please be gentle with me, this is the first time I'm posting anything on this site and for this fandom. I've been adoring Clexa behind the scenes for so long I thought I'd finally give them a shot again in a kind of post-apocalyptic setting. ;) [I know, HOW original...haha]
> 
> I might make changes in the title or the general direction of the story in the future, nothing is set in stone, this is only a pilot so far. Do let me know if you're interested!


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